Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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