I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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