I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
