Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
