planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
