Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
