I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
