i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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