I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
