We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
