You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
