im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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