you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
