I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
