i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
