I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
50% drunk capacity currently
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
