She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
