How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
