Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
