...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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