You smell like stripper and shame
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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