my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
