dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
