We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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