Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
