Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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