She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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