I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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