do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
