question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
