Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
