Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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