My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
