she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
