also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
