She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
