I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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