Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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