I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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