If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So many bounce houses so little time
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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