He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
