If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
