i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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