hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
