shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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