ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
