One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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