I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
