Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
