Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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