So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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