do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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