so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
