What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
