Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
