you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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