im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
